Sleep, please.

As the years have gone by, it seems sleep wants to avoid me more and more. It's partly my fault and not. Right now, it's because I am overweight. before it was allergies. I can lose weight, but losing allergies was not gonna happen. there were things to help, but they always are there. Thankfully, Montana has shown me that the climate is conducive to my breathing.

It really started back in 2001 or so. I never really snored before, but noticed that my sleeping wasn't as restful as it used to be. The wife also noticed, probably more so than me, because my snoring was keeping her up nights. So, I went to the doctor on Parris Island and they suggested a sleep study. I had to drive to an Army base in Georgia to do it.

For those of you who don't know what a sleep study is, they make you the most uncomfortable you can be by sticking diodes on your feet, legs, stomach, chest and head. These are supposed to monitor your bodily functions while you "sleep". You are in a strange bed, in a strange room without your sheets, pillow, a camera on you with a microphone to record you. No pressure! Talk about performance anxiety, and all you're required to do is sleep. It takes about an hour to stick these things into your skin and then tape them on. I have done this 3 times. The first time I did it, they lost the results. No one on Parris Island could get the Army to find them anywhere. We were getting ready to move, so I waited. I did another sleep study in Winston Salem, NC and the results said there was no sleep problem, yet I was still unrested and snoring worse. My doctor sent me to an allergist.

Now, to determine if you have allergies or not, they have to actually put the things you may be allergic to on your skin. They prick you with a little pin that is infected with what they test you for and watch how your skin reacts. Nice, right? Turns out I was allergic to Pine, Maple, Mold, Dust, Chicken, and Pecans. Those of you who remember me as a kid, I was always throwing snot bombs from my nose and they never seemed to stop. Well, now I know why! Did you know that mold grows in your grass, and when you mow the lawn, you throw it all over into the air you are breathing? I didn't. Dust? Where isn't their dust? Pine and Maple trees are extremely abundant on the East Coast, especially in the Carolina's. Pine, anyways. Chicken I knew about, but only if I handle it raw and don't wash my hands right away after. Pecans, meh. So, I was told not to vacuum the floors and kick up dust, leave that to someone else (YES!). I was told I shouldn't mow the lawn (WOOHOO!). I had to go to the allergist twice a week for shots that were supposed to help fight off my allergies. Also was given Allegra to take. Life got a little better, but not much. As time wore on, and my body started hurting more and more, and eventually my back blew out, I gained weight.

I admit that at first I wasn't watching my diet. I was depressed about everything going on with my body and didn't have time to concentrate on a diet. Those of you that knew me as a kid remember a guy that was 135 pounds, soaking wet. When I joined the Marines, I put on 40 pounds in 2 years. Then I started working out. I hovered around my maximum weight for a lot of years, which was 198. Depending on which day you weighed me, I could be off 5 pounds, but maintained that weight for a long time. But, I weigh almost 80 pounds heavier than that now. I have tried to maintain a decent diet, eating oatmeal and fruit every breakfast, something small at lunch, and smaller portions at dinner, almost always skipping seconds except on vegetables. Key word being "almost". Sometimes you ALWAYS have to have a little more. Any dietitian will tell you that you can't change everything all at once and cut out everything bad or you will be tempted to cheat more often and worse.

When the weather was nice here, I was walking to and from work every day, just under 3 miles one way. It was working pretty well. People were telling me I looked thinner in the face, seemed to slim a little in the waist, etc. And, I was feeling better with some cardio. But, with temps in the teens and sub zero here in Cut Bank, I am not gonna subject myself to those conditions. There is a civic center with limited equipment. And by limited I mean one treadmill, one elliptical trainer, and a small room of weights. The $63 a month they want to charge a month is NOT worth putting my name on a waiting list to walk on a treadmill or use an elliptical. I have weights at home, but was told not to lift free weights with my back the way it is. I have, but only light weight so as not to hurt myself.

Well, back in late October, I went to the VA hospital in Helena. Did another sleep study and this time they LOST THE RESULTS AGAIN! But, going off of the notes the tech took, they diagnosed me with sleep apnea. What that means is I stop breathing during my sleep. Everyone does it, but I do it for longer periods of time and have a horrible snoring problem. While I was having the sleep study done, they hooked me up and let me sleep with all their little diodes on. The tech told me that if they felt the need to, they would hook me onto a CPAP breathing machine. Basically a forced air machine, administering the air via a face mask that looks like a cup an athlete would wear. They shut the lights off at 11 and I fell asleep some time after. I was awakened by tech and told they were hooking me up to the CPAP. I asked what time it was. he told me he wasn't supposed to tell me. I only wondered how long I had been asleep before they thought I needed the machine. He explained that some folks would worry about the time and count the clock, thereby messing up their sleep. Like all the shit hooked on me, to include a wind tunnel connected to my mouth and nose wasn't gonna screw with my sleep. He ended up telling me that it was just after midnight. So roughly an hour or so and they decided I needed help.

Wake up time was 6 am, but they said I slipped into REM sleep and were not allowed to wake me up. They woke me up at 7 am and the tech was rushing me around like someone was coming in behind me to crawl into the bed during the day. He just wanted off work. So, I cleaned up and got as much of the goop from the tape off of me with the industrial government soap provided. They made me standby to get fitted for a mask. I was getting the CPAP.

^^^^^CPAP^^^^^ (Mine is a little different, but pretty damn close to this one)

So, now I am trying to sleep with that contraption on my head. it's not going too well. The mask ends up leaking. If I tighten it, it hurts my face. I have woken up in the middle of the night and thrown it on the floor, only to be awakened by an elbow to the ribs, or to a hand feeling my face to check if the mask is on me. I feel bad for causing my wife to lose sleep, but I really am trying. We'll see how it goes.