"In your dreams tonight...."

The words on the title are from a song by the band Agent Orange. Off and on through the years, and usually spurred on by someone else, I have looked at dreams as a way of my brain telling me something is wrong, or better yet, something is right with what I am doing in life. And sometimes, dreams are just plain fun and I just wake up and go WTF?!?

Truthfully, I usually don't remember my dreams, I don't sleep very well at night, thus causing me to wake up in the mornings and not even care about anything but making it OUT of bed and into the shower. But recently I have had the assist of a breathing machine at night and that seems to be helping me rest a LITTLE better, but not completely good. One thing I have noticed though, is that I have been remembering my dreams a little better. And recently, one of my daily horoscopes said to put a pen and paper by my bed and when I wake up to write about my dream. I know, dreams, horoscopes, WTF am I doing, right? Well, I just think this stuff is interesting sometime. I won't be on a 1-900 number anytime soon to find out if Madame Chloe' thinks I should bet the farm on the Saints to win the Super Bowl. I just chose this dream on this day to try and interpret.

So, my dream from last night: I was in SOMD where I grew up. We were staying in a flea bag motel, my wife and me and 3 youngest kids. My oldest was not in this dream. I was out walking around and walked into a room with a HUGE bed in it with about 20 to 30 hispanic girls all sleeping on it. There was only one awake, and she was sitting by the door. She looked at me and I looked at her. I raised my hands and started to back out, saying, "No problemo." She smiled and repeated my words, and I walked out. Erica came up to me in a rush, frantic. She told me the kids had been taken away by the police because she had left them in a furniture store to watch tv while she went to another store right next door to it. She said we need money, fast. i then walked into a bar hoping to find money or someone to borrow it from. Sitting at the bar were folks I work with here in Montana. In front of every barstool, on the bar, was a pile of change, all silver coins. I walked through the bar and came out empty handed. I told Erica that we needed to find the cop and just get our kids back. They are 17, 13 and 12 for Pete's sake, and it was far from neglect.

We find the police officer, and it was Phillip Seymor Hoffman who was the cop! And he had small, petite little hands, like the guy on the BK commercial on TV during football yesterday. We started talking and he wouldn't look me in the eye. I reached out to grab his hand because we hadn't shaken hands yet, and I noticed how little they were. I grabbed it and got angry. I commenced to squeezing his hand so tight, he released the kids back to us with no problems. There was more to the dream, like I remember some guy was trying to blackmail Erica and I, and we turned the tables on him and got out of it. That's all I seem to remember.

So, I went to a website called Dream Moods. On this site they have key words that you can look up and see what it MAY mean to you in your dream. Here are the things I came up with from my dream.

Actor/Actress

To see an actor or actress in your dream, represents your pursuit for pleasure. Your admiration of a particular celebrity may lead to a desire to have some of their physical or personality traits. Consider also who this actor/actress is and what characteristics you associate with him or her. These may be the same characteristics that you need to acknowledge or incorporate into yourself. The dream may also be a pun on his or her name.

To see a particular actor or actress in your dream, look at the role they are playing. Even though you may not know them on a personal level, how you perceive them or the characters they play can provide understanding in how it relates to you.

I was thinking all morning to myself, "Why Phillip Seymor Hoffman? What is it about him that brought HIM into my head? What character had he played that I saw that made me think of him?" The closest thing I could think of, by me dominating him with physical force and treating him poorly was his roll in Boogie Nights. His character was self conscious and wanted to fit in so badly he went and did things to try and make people like him. I can see my young self in this character. Wanting so badly to hang out with the "cool kids", and never really knowing myself inside. I always had my own personality, I just never recognized it until later in life. As far as the pursuit of pleasure, DEFINITELY! I have been thinking of purchasing some personal items that will enhance my physical pleasures and this seems to definitely be a part of the dream. I don't think I want to be a balding and overweight guy, although I do fit part of that description....

Bribery
To dream that you are being bribed, suggests that you are easily influenced. Perhaps you are letting others persuade you into doing something you don't really want to. Gather your strength and stand up for yourself.
To dream that you are bribing someone, indicates that you expect too much of others. You may be too demanding. In particular, if you dream that you are bribing a policeman, then you believe that you are above the law or rules. You think you can get away with being dishonest and deceitful.

In certain things in life, I believe I am easily influenced. I have tried weight loss medicines, work out supplements, and a few other things that have usually been failures. The only way to lose weight is to set your mind to it and work out. No miracle pill will help. I know that, but, sometimes get caught in the glamour of it, much to the dismay of my wife. Bribing the person back in my dream means I am expecting too much of others? i am trying to think of someone I expect too much from? Maybe because we are dealing with my 20 yo son and trying to help him find a path in life, or my 17 yo High School Senior who we are pressuring to get his GPA up so he can get into the school he wants and ALSO get scholarship money.

Bully
To dream that you are a bully, indicates your tendency to dominate a conversation, relationship or situation.� You have difficulties in recognizing your weaknesses and asking for help when you need it.

Lately I have been getting more and more aggravated when I am interrupted in a conversation. I am having a hard time keeping my train of thought sometimes and being interrupted derails my thought process. This has been especially apparent to Erica, where we have butt heads about almost daily. I recognize my weaknesses all too much. I believe I am a hurtful person and don't deserve the wonderful things I have in front of me, yet I DO have a problem asking for help. I usually feel like I can do something all by myself and don't need anyone elses help. I will fail and fail and fail usually before I ask for help, and sometimes it gets to the point of being in trouble of some sort.

Woman
To see a woman in your dream, represents nurturance, passivity, caring nature, and love. It refers to your own female aspects or may also represent your mother. Alternatively, it may indicate temptation and guilt. If you know the woman, then it may symbolize the concerns and feelings you have about her.To see a group of women talking in your dream, refers to some gossip.

Since I saw a group of women sleeping in this dream, I can only assume that what I have noticed, living in a small town, is that everyone seems to know everyone elses business, good and bad. No good deed goes unpunished and no bad deed goes unnoticed. Somebody always has an opinion about something, and I have found myself caught up in it all too much in the short time I have been here in Montana.

Children
To see children in your dream, signify an aspect of yourself and your childlike qualities. You may be retreating back to a childlike state where you are longing for the past and the chance to satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Perhaps there is something that you need to see grow and nurtured.�Take some time off and cater to the inner child within. Alternatively, the dream may be highlighting you innocence, purity, simplicity, and carefree attitude. To save a child, signifies your attempts to save a part of yourself from being destroyed. If you dream that you are separated from your children, then it symbolizes failure in some personal endeavor or a setback in some ideal you had.

The part I italicized and made red is the topic of a WHOLE other blog...I am not gonna touch it right now. It's nothing bad to do with my present state of being, but more along the lines of things from my youth. Saving my kids as an attempt to save a part of myself? Failure in an endeavor? The only thing I can think this might relate to is our current situation with where we live. It is not all it was promised to be, nor is it what we expected it to be. In my own way, i am trying to deal with things and make them easier for all concerned. It could also signify my failure at achieving certain goals and ambitions in the military. Physical disabilities ruined all of my chances for advancement and I was lucky to have retired.

Wife
To see your wife in your dream, signifies discord and unresolved issues. Pay attention to how you feel in the dream as it may highlight feelings that you are not expressing in your waking life.

I have told my wife this on several occasions and I will write it here: I don't deserve her and her forgiving nature to me. I don't know what marriage has unresolved issues, but if you see a couple like that, lemme know so i can talk to them!

Bar
To dream that you are at a bar, signifies your desire to escape from the stresses of your daily life and retreat into a light-hearted environment where pleasure abounds. Alternatively, you are seeking for acceptance in some aspect of your daily life.

I am turning 40 this year, and for my birthday my wife wants to give me a trip to Long Beach, California with my friend Mike. I am really looking forward to this trip and think it will be a GREAT time. I often daydream of being on a motorcycle and just riding from town to town, seeing the sites and meeting new people. At work, I am one of two guys that work there that are NOT oil field workers and constantly think I have to prove myself to them in some way or fashion. Usually it's with my sharp tongue and wit and remind them I have already retired from a career and am not some snot nosed punk off the streets.

Hotel
To see a hotel in your dream, signifies a new state of mind or a shift in personal identity. You are undergoing some sort of transition and need to move away from your old habits and old way of thinking. You need to temporarily escape from your daily life.

I covered this in my explanation above.

I could go on and on and on with this, picking out minute details of the dream and looking them up to see what is said. And I didn't go to any other websites to see what they may have to say about my dreams and their interpretations. I think it would just confuse me and make me think that dreams really have no meaning. But I believe they do have meaning. I think that once we fall asleep, our brain tells us that something is wrong, or right, with what's going on in your life at the moment. Or, reassuring you that a decision you made years ago, or a decision you are about to make, is the right or wrong one. You just have to listen to it.

"This is the voice of you know who..........."